"The Winged Dolphin Being & Learning Centre (WDBLC) is run by Teachers and Healers dedicated to assisting humanity through their consciousness expansion and the integration of their Divine and Human Selves.

The Healers and Teachers in the WDBLC are highly trained and dedicated to assisting all who seek their truth and healing. Unlike classes and healings of the old energy, you will be lovingly guided in how to open up to, and hear the grandest teacher you will ever know ... ... YOURSELF! " - from the Winged Dolphin web site

Hmm: apart from the fact that their web site doesn't work properly in Firefox so you have to go in via the back door (mind the shamanistic wind chimes on your way in - and don't trip over the Sacred Power Lead), this is a wonderful example of what seems to me to be utter drivel. Enjoy.

"Essex single mum Chvonne is marrying hopeless romantic Darren. When they first met there was just one small snag - Chvonne was about to marry someone else. Even though this is her second time around, Chvonne wants a proper white wedding, with all the trimmings. Money's tight, so this bargain-hunter turns to eBay to create her dream. But with a large and complicated family, chaos is looming." - BBC Three listing for Wedding Stories.

It should be made compulsory for parents to read a dictionary of baby names before being allowed to register the birth. Otherwise, their offspring may be saddled with a hopelessly illiterate moniker.

I presume Chvonne (should there be an "a" in there somewhere?) is an attempt at the Irish Siobhan, made without reference to actually reading anything. I have seen "Shivaun" before - but "Chvonne"? Give me strength.

See also: Chav

P.S. I have two radio phone handsets - they are called Wayne and Darren!

Headline writers have a difficult tightrope to walk. Their words must be short and to the point, but nevertheless convey the right message. The Telegraph didn't get it quite right today, with:

"Police shoot to kill first woman"

- which immediately conjures up poor Eve clutching her bloodstained figleaf in Eden.

You can read the whole article here. What they actually mean, of course, is that this is the first woman - rather than man - who has been the subject (one can hardly say victim) of a 'shoot to kill' policy.