Adults only...

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Adults only...

by loiswakeman @ 29 Dec. 2008 – 17:33:38

In anticipation of the introduction of cinema-style age classifications for web sites by the Culcher Sekerterry, I decided to be ahead of the trend and announce my rating now.

This blog is 18 rated and is not suitable for those raised on a 3-second attention span, reality TV and txtspk. Contains mild irony, occasional strong sarcasm, possibly perplexing metaphor, and light litotes. Future editions may also include any or all of these dangerously erudite figures of speech:

Anadiplosis
Antimetabole
Aphorism
Chiasmus
Epanadiplosis
Epanalepsis
Epistrophe
Epizeuxis
Hyperbole
Meiosis
Oxymoron
Pleonasm
Polyptoton
Simile
Zeugma

(no, I don't know what they all are without looking them up! But if I had a flock of chickens, that's what I might call them.)
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18 Comments to Adults only...

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- menhir
- 29 Dec. 2008 @ 17:58:23
You've spelt Kultchur without a 'k' and a 't'. Does this make for different classifications of kultchur to culcher?

I'm just reading through a David Lodge book probably meant for students of English Language (or is it tweeked brit speek langwage as she is spoke) which has lead me across the path of one or two of the parts of whatever language you have extrapolated, and I am sure there will be the rest of the list and more to follow. (Yawn). I'm working on increasing my attention span to take in the story line.
- - loiswakeman
  - http://lois.co.uk
  - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 09:25:45
  He can be heavy going at times - but I do generally have one of two LOL moments in his books.
  - - menhir
    - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 12:20:04
    David Lodge can be very funny. I enjoyed his 'How far can you go' book some years ago. There is great similarity in the little of this next book I have so far read. I am rather glad I did not choose to read him again too quickly.
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- PrincessFiona
- 29 Dec. 2008 @ 18:25:56
Yikes!
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- kevinwilson ^Pro
- 29 Dec. 2008 @ 18:35:04
cripes - classification could be the end of my blog then!
good post, lois!
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- EllieGant
- 29 Dec. 2008 @ 19:25:42
I so want some chickens. And I want even more to be able to yell out those names at feeding time! And I'm glad you said you didn't know them, cos, if it was a quiz, I'd be doing the washing up (or whatever fate last prize has in store).
- - loiswakeman
  - http://lois.co.uk
  - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 09:26:53
  A bag of jelly babies as the booby prize perhaps? That's what my Mum and her friends won at a Christmas quiz a few days ago.
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- MissyMouse
- 29 Dec. 2008 @ 19:49:23
What nonsense eh!
I heard about this on the radio and shouted at the radio "just another excuse to give someone a well paid job deciding what classification each website should have!". Hubby, who was driving, just kind of looked at me out the corner of his eye. "I see you're off again then dear?". I often shout at the radio you see!

Bah humbug!

Happy New Year to you Lois xx
- - loiswakeman
  - http://lois.co.uk
  - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 09:28:12
  And to you too Missy. Shouting at the radio is a cheap and effective form of stress relief (unless you make the driver swerve with your vehemence, of course!)
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- Foxwriter
- 29 Dec. 2008 @ 23:25:10
Have you ever encountered the 'unofficial' yet entirely rigid censorship eimposed by most publishers?

Slyly entitled 'Code of Practice' or 'Guidance for Authors' or any one of a dozed similar equally risible euphemisms, these impertinent imperatives make the proposals of the Department for Public Thinking seem entirely reasonable.
- - loiswakeman
  - http://lois.co.uk
  - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 09:34:52
  No - the only book wot I wrote was a technical one of extreme complexity and dullness, and I guess that Prentice Hall thought I'd be unlikely to go over the lines!
  - - Foxwriter
    - 05 Jan. 2009 @ 14:13:39
    !! Stands back in admiration. !!
    
    Ah well, if you are writing for people like that, then you are on a higher plane than me.
    - - loiswakeman
      - http://lois.co.uk
      - 05 Jan. 2009 @ 16:40:08
      Positively stratospheric, old bean. Actually, I doubt I'd understand it myself any longer - all the brain cells I used at the time have problably gone west since!
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- LissaT ^Pro
- 30 Dec. 2008 @ 17:46:52
When my mother was on Mastermind she (an English teacher) could not remember the word oxymoron when asked the term for such figures of speech as 'bitter sweet': since then, in our family, 'you oxymoron' has been an insult used to a person who cannot remember something he really ought to know i.e. the contradiction or oxymoron of a pig-ignorant well educated person.
- - loiswakeman
  - http://lois.co.uk
  - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 09:24:39
  That's a really good one to remember, Lissa!
  
  It would be fascinating to write a book of family usage - I am sure most have some creative or funny use of English to report.
  - - LissaT ^Pro
    - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 13:31:47
    When I was a child a dressing-gown was a duff, and a poo was 'hardwork'. The latter is now obselete, but both derivations are easy enough. People who are a bit too 'up front' about their good works are 'uprighteous'.
    
    'See amid the winter's snow' is the 'school dinner carol': "See the tender lamb appears / Promised from eternal years".
    - - LissaT ^Pro
      - 31 Dec. 2008 @ 13:37:11
      I didn't mention 'Hell's bells and buckets of blood', a useful expression of extreme irritation. I recently heard Rob Bryden use this expression so it may actually be common useage is south Wales, but in Lincolnshire it seems to be unique to my sister and myself.
      - loiswakeman
        
        http://lois.co.uk
        
        31 Dec. 2008 @ 16:20:59
        
        My Dad used that too. He was raised on the Wirral.
        
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